Belinda Otas, Bravery Redefined

Belinda Otas is many things: bold, outspoken, controversial, complicated. But for us, her singular defining attribute is her bravery. She possesses the kind of courage immortalised in stories of superheroines. Especially because of this, Yaaya is glad to share Belinda’s story with our readers and the world. We believe her story should be celebrated and upheld as a constant reminder of the force for life that lies within us all.

In the first part of this four-part post, Belinda talks to Yaaya about why she decided to become a part of our conversation, and bravely opens up about her medical condition, and how this has shaped her belief system.

And so the conversation begins …

When Yaaya Met Belinda Otas

 

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Yaaya:

It’s great to meet with you, thanks a lot for honouring our invitation. Can you tell us why you think it is important to share your story through Yaaya?

Belinda O:

Your story is yours to tell, and if you don’t tell it, someone else might end up telling it in a way that you don’t like or appreciate. So when a platform comes up that allows you to tell your story, be that a blog, magazine or website, as long as it’s a platform that you are happy with, in that their ethos corresponds or correlates with yours, and you have no problem sharing your story, then by all means, share your story. It is yours to tell. And there is no better way to have a sense and ownership of self than to tell your story. If you don’t tell it, how will people get to know you?

Yaaya:

We completely agree. Here at Yaaya we are big on sharing stories, and we understand the importance of that.

Discovering Belinda Otas

 

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Yaaya:

Your online presence focuses very heavily on your journalism and your passion for theatre. But we know very little about Belinda Otas. Who is she?

Belinda O:

(Laughs) That is a million dollar question. It’s hard to define Belinda Otas in one word, but if I wanted to use one word, I would say complicated. (Laughs) At the end of the day, I think you need some element of complication to keep you on your toes. You have to be as versatile as possible. I consider myself to be a loving person. If you get to know me, you probably will see that side.

If you look at me from afar, I can come across as aloof. But once you get to know Belinda, [you will find I’m] actually playful. I remember one lady at church who just used to smile at me in a cordial way and then one day we had a conversation and she said to me “I never knew you were like this. I never even thought you would ever speak to me.” And that’s because I tend to keep quiet. I have my moments. I can be crazy and as loud as I want to be. But there is also that introvert part of me, which if you don’t understand, you can interpret is as me being a snob, which is far from the case. Sometimes it’s good for people to get to know me on Twitter before they see me in real life and get to know those other aspects of me. I have my moments e.g. I recently tweeted:

most successful men have an incredible sex drive … Michael Flatley - Sweet Lawd Jesus, I ain't even gon' lie. Send me 1. Lawd, send me 1 :)

That is one of my moments when even I say, “girl, you crazy!”

I can be outgoing, but at the same time I really appreciate my space. I absolutely love solitude. Solitude and I are best of friends. And you (Yaaya) have noticed my passion for theatre, it is one of the places where I feel at home the most.

But I would say one thing I absolutely love is someone who lives on purpose. My respect for [such a person] jumps through the roof.

Yaaya:

Tell us a bit more about that. What do you mean by “someone who lives on purpose”?

Belinda O:

You know when you meet someone, and they know where they are going … They’ve defined their goals, have a vision [for life], and live for something, and not just for themselves. They live to enhance other people’s lives. I truly believe that what you make happen for others, God will make happen for you. Even if you are not a person of faith, the universe will make it happen for you one way or another.

I believe in seed time and harvest time. So when I meet someone or a group of people who live on purpose, who are or want to be changemakers or entrepreneurs, people who challenge you mentally and you can learn from them – people like that really excite me. When I meet [such] people, I honour them, respect them, and keep quiet and learn from them. I am encouraged and challenged by that.

Yaaya:

What gets you out of bed in the morning?

Belinda O:

My life experience to date has played a big role in my life. If I had not been through what I’d been through, maybe I would see life differently. When I was 15, I got sick. For a whole year, nobody knew what was wrong. I was misdiagnosed, and ended up losing both of my kidneys. From 16 to 22, I lived on dialysis. Now those are your teenage years, the valuable years when you come into a sense of self and who you are; when you get to define yourself and find out about boys, make decisions about career, family ...

Yaaya:

Your formative years …

Belinda O:

Exactly! Your formative years! I did not have that. My life was pretty structured ... I started working a dialysis machine at 17. I could needle myself and put myself on a machine. People my age group were discovering life, but I was pretty much: hospital, dialysis, home, church. I couldn’t tell my story because I became very timid and shy, and ashamed, to some level of what was happening to me, because one I didn’t understand it, and two, it was a lot to deal with, for someone at that age, especially when nobody recognises that ‘actually, this child needs counselling. It is a little too much for her young mind to be dealing with so when you don’t get the kind of psychological help that comes with having your whole world turned upside down, you can lose your sense of self.

Yaaya:

Tell us more about that …

Belinda O:

Between 16-19 years, I didn’t have a sense of self. I kept to myself, I was very shy, very timid, and very angry about what was happening to me. But there was a turning point and that turning point was my faith. My faith has always played a big role in my life. For the first 3 years of dealing with that, I wouldn’t say my parents were not equipped, but they were just so focused on trying to ensure I survived, that nobody thought about the mental impact my situation had had on me. Imagine me trying to navigate my way out of that, and my faith was what gave me that. I started talking to God, saying "help me understand this. This doesn’t make sense".

I had my whole life ahead of me. I was about to sit my final exams in Nigeria so I could go to university when it all happened. So to have all of that taken away from me was very painful because I couldn’t go to school. I was at home or going through dialysis 3 times a week. It took over my life. To not have control (pauses) … and to not have a voice to say "this is what I’m feeling" and just having to deal with that.

(Pauses) It can kill you mentally. But like I said, I rediscovered myself through my faith, and in going to church, I found like-minded people, a community that I could trust. And I think my faith was what gave me myself back.

Yaaya:

So, your faith got you out of bed in the morning?

Belinda O:

Yes.

Yaaya:

And is it still what gets you out of bed in the morning?

Belinda O:

Oh yes! My faith still plays a big role in my life. I haven’t dropped it, and I don’t intend to drop it. If I ever do, I’ll probably end up dead (Pauses) (laughs) But now, I live on purpose as well. I have a lot of things I want to do with my life. I’ve had a kidney transplant (Pauses) It’s a daily walk. A daily journey. I have good days, and bad days. I take a lot of medication with numerous side effects. Some days I won’t be able to speak because I’m so drugged up. I suffer from unexplainable pain. There are days when I have no control over that pain. I depend on painkillers to survive from hour to hour. But inasmuch as I would to think this is a special problem, I refuse to specialise the problem. Instead I allow my circumstance make me want to live an exceptional life on purpose.

And that is one of the things that fuelled my journalism and my dreams as a writer. For me, living on purpose gets me out of bed. I dream big. Even as I’m talking now, I’ve been dealing with a medical challenge since last year. This past year has been a tough year, because last year, I experienced a rejection, where your body rejects an organ that has been given to you. The prospect of going back on dialysis…was not something I had given thought to. But it happened to me. And I’ve become so hungry to do better with my life, because I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. The doctors have given me a timeframe …

Yaaya:

There’s a sense of urgency now, because you feel that perhaps you are running out of time…?

Belinda O:

Exactly. And that pushes me. Sometimes it gets me down, when I’m tired. But I push against the tide and say “come hell or high-water, I’m not giving up without a fight”. I’ve had to fight since I was 16 years old. It’s part and parcel of me. I think giving up will kill me faster than not fighting. Fighting is what keeps me alive.

Yaaya:

Just so we have it on record, this happened as a result of a misdiagnosis, is that correct?

Belinda O:

Yes, that’s correct.

Yaaya continues the conversation in Part 2 of our four-part post where Belinda walks us through her career to date, and shares her principles for success in the competitive world of journalism.

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Image Source | These images do not belong to Yaaya. Image courtesy of Ayo Odesanya.