From Africa To Europe: A Black Woman’s Experience

"When you walk into a room,
the fact that you are different,
should be celebrated."

What do successful women do when they are not working? For Belinda Otas, it can be summed up in one word: Theatre.

In the final part of this four-part post, Yaaya and Belinda discuss her passion for the literary arts, and her plans for the future.

And so the conversation continues …

On Being A Black Woman In Europe

 

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Yaaya:

You have lived in an African country [Nigeria]. And now you live in a European country [UK]. What does it mean to be a black woman in European society?

Belinda O:

First of all, I am not keen on that whole black woman thing, to be honest with you. Until I came to live in London, I didn’t know I was black.

Yaaya:

Yes, understandably. It is a social construct –

Belinda O:

In that regard, I am very against the grain when it comes to that social construct. Even when I’m filling a form, I always cancel out the ‘black’ and put ‘African’. (Pauses) How will I …?

Being an African woman living in Europe, it’s an interesting experience, because all of a sudden, you become aware of these… (Pauses) … these multiple personalities that you have to take on sometimes. What I’m saying is, in Europe there is a culture, there is a way you dress, a way you address people, a way you relate to people. There is a way relationships are formed and shaped.

Yaaya:

Can you shed some more light on that?

Belinda O:

In Nigeria you can dress up and go to your family’s house, and you don’t need to tell them you are coming. In Europe, you cannot just get up and go to your own sister’s house. You have to call first. My dad was recently in London and came to my house, he said he wanted to surprise me…I asked him why he didn’t call first. I shocked myself. Now, when I was in Nigeria that may never happen. It is those little things you pick up without even realising how you change or have changed. You have to learn the culture. And there are some habits that you will have to unlearn. It’s about understanding societal rules.

Yaaya:

Ah, yes. We see what you mean ...

Belinda O:

As an African woman, it was not that I came back from a backward place. Nigeria continues to develop and change. But, coming from a totally different society where the culture is different, here in Europe, you have to relearn how to relate to people in a different environment. To carry yourself with dignity, elegance and position yourself in a way that allows you to hold your head up high without apologising for being in this space, and without allowing anyone to think because they’ve seen a picture of an African country on TV [that] they can put you down.

Yaaya:

From what you have said, it is about learning how to juggle these multiple cultures –

Belinda O:

Exactly!

Yaaya:

Because you come with your own, and you meet an existing culture where you arrive at. Whilst it is important to re-learn this existing culture, to adapt and integrate, you must also raise your head high and not apologise for being different.

Belinda O:

Not at all! At all times be yourself. It is hard trying to be someone else. Phew! Yes, you learn the tricks and the trade, but you shouldn’t have to apologise for where you come from and for who you are. You should never have to. When you walk into a room, the fact that you are the only person who is different, should be celebrated. And if other people cannot celebrate it, tough luck. You celebrate yourself. But it is about being able to adapt. It is about being able to straddle both cultures with balance.

All The World Is A Stage

 

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Yaaya:

On to your other love, ‘theatre’. You call yourself a theatre junkie who would gladly sleep at the theatre every night –

Belinda O:

(Laughs)

Yaaya:

Tell us why you are so passionate about theatre.

Belinda O:

I feel the stage allows you to tell stories with passion, with humour. And you know what? On the stage, you are free to create. And there are no limitations. Of course, finances (Laughs).

But there is something about the stage that allows you to tell a story and put words in the mouths of the characters. Things that perhaps you cannot say in real life, you can say on the stage. The stage gives you room to dig deep emotionally into those things that you’ve encountered but you have never really been able to express it the way you want to. The stage is a volcano of emotions waiting to erupt.

I remember seeing township stories from South Africa at Theatre Royal Stratford and I was blown away. It was so gritty. The gritty realism of living in a township was so in your face, I couldn’t speak when I was done. They went in. They went there.

Yaaya:

(Laughs)

Belinda O:

That is one aspect of theatre I love; when it’s gritty and in your face like that. Then we have theatre masters like Athol Fugard who gave the world ‘Sizwe Banzi is dead’, and gave insight into the heinous and hideous psychological damage that apartheid was doing to black South Africa. And you cannot help but say “this must stop!” when you see it plainly [as in] ‘Sizwe Banzi is dead’. Thank God that apartheid is over, although there is a new form of oppression, which is economic. Theatre allows you to ask questions that ordinarily, if you were to start that conversation, people would want to kill you. You are putting it [the question] out there, and you are saying “discuss”.

Theatre allows you to express yourself, to travel, to dream. And for me, it allows me to be me. It allows me to tell the stories that ordinarily, I couldn’t tell on my own. For example, my first play is a story about a married couple. Because of my personal experience, I intentionally gave the wife a medical condition so I could address the themes of stigma, shame and fear of people knowing you have a medical condition – be it HIV/Aids or have been living with a particular challenge for years and the culture that creates that stigma.

And So The Conversation Ends … For Now :)

 

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Yaaya:

What does the future hold for you? Where is Belinda going?

Belinda O:

Right now, I just want to finish my deadlines. (Laughs) I’ve got a lot to get through for the publications I write for. But I look forward to the future, not with trepidation, but being assured of hope, that every day that comes, I will have enough strength to go through and be myself. I truly believe that.

There are two scripture verses I hold on to, on days when I have no more tears to cry. Deuteronomy 33:25 “… and as thy days, so shall thy strength be.” And Isaiah 30:15 “In quietness and in confidence shall be thy strength.”

I look forward to my journalism and doing greater things with my stories. I would love to start an online publication. My blog and website has been training towards that. I believe in seasons. So I’m waiting for that season to come. For now I’m building myself towards that goal. But for now, to keep writing and doing my journalism, and telling great stories about Africa, African women, African men, and African businesses, among many other things.

Yaaya:

On a lighter note, we have a set of one-liner questions for you. Tell us the first thing that comes to mind.

Yaaya:

If I wasn’t a journalist, I would be ...

Belinda O:

Oh! I would definitely be a businesswoman.

Yaaya:

We can harness the power of the media to ...

Belinda O:

Tell stories that are worthy of our time.

Yaaya:

My dream for black women is ... Belinda O: To just be themselves. Be your best you. And don’t ever apologise for it.

Yaaya:

The one principle that I live by is ...

Belinda O:

Phew! (Pauses) Do unto others as you wish others to do unto you.

Yaaya:

Success for me is ...

Belinda O:

Oh, that’s a big question. (Laughs) OK, success for me is not all about money. (Pauses) Now don’t get me wrong, you need money to do the things you want to do in life. So I am not against people having money. Goodness, I want some, but money is currency, it flows in and out of our lives. But those things that remain and are steadfast and unmoveable, that is what matters. So Success for me is being relationally healthy and wealthy. Success for me is love, and having people to share it with. Success is about being a blessing to others. Not just me, myself, and I. I could go on and on about this, you know. So let’s stop (Laughs).

Yaaya:

Yaaya, to me, represents ...

Belinda O:

Sisterhood. Building the narrative of a strong sisterhood that supports women.

Yaaya:

Alright! Thank you! Thank you very much for taking the time to speak with us.

This concludes our interview with Belinda Otas. Share with us your thoughts on Belinda’s inspirational journey and future ambitions! Catch-up on the earlier parts of our conversation:

Part 1: Belinda Otas, Bravery Redefined
Part 2: The Rise and Rise of the Accidental Journalist
Part 2: The New African Woman: Sincerely Unapologetic (For Being Different)

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